Bass Players with Picks

Topic(s): Humor, bass guitar

The Problem
The most telling indicator that a bass player sucks is that he plays with a pick. From whence comes this horror of technical inadequacy and musical limitation? While some would argue that the use of picks in modern rock bass practice has been dictated largely by the loud and repetitive nature of rock music, I disagree.

Its Origin
The origins of this tragic technical inadequacy are likely the result of the bass instrument's inferior estimation within the rock world. In other words, it's not cool. Because the electric guitar gets all the glory, everyone wants to play the electric guitar. And most Western rock guitar styles involve using a pick. The typically bad rock bass player is usually born when he realizes that he sucks at playing the electric guitar, so why doesn't he pick up the bass? So the ex-guitar player crosses the garage, basement, or other practice space with pick in hand. He is forlorn, but determined to beat some shade of rockness from the electric guitar's uncool cousin. He figures that if they won't let him play guitar, maybe he can just fade into the background on bass, and thereby retain his hip credibility with the girls but not be required to have skills.

The Bass is NOT an Oversized Electric Guitar
Technically, yes, the electric bass IS an oversized electric guitar. But it serves a very different musical function, and requires a completely different technique and sensibility. When an electric guitar player picks up a bass, he sees a bigger electric guitar, with fatter strings and wider frets. And so he tries to play it like a big electric guitar. But since he sucked at regular electric guitar, his playing on an oversized electric guitar will be even worse, as his guitar technique is even more inadequate for the demands of the bass fretboard. His right hand picks the strings, jarring out single, thuddy notes. And you can bet these notes are chord roots. Over and over.

Fortunately for the modern rock bassist, rock listeners don't actually hear the bass. It fills a space, like the hum of a distant microwave on low, and you don't really notice it.

Duff McKagan, You ROCKED
Once in a while, a picking rock bassist discovers melody, transforming what could have been just another "follow the chords" pile of bricks into a call for war. Duff McKagan of Guns N' Roses was particularly good at stirring the cauldrons of rock, igniting forest fires and riots with his introductory riffs.

(SNOB NOTE: Whoever wrote this is a musical ignoramus. Duff McKagan played with a pick.)
SNOB NOTE II: Whoever made the above snobby remark, didn't really read the article, since it clearly identifies Duff as a picking bass guitarist. The author however, mistakenly used the term bassist, which should only be applied to musicians playing bass the proper way.)

Don't Turn on Your Visual Media Device
Today the use of picks to play rock bass badly persists. This article was inspired by a particularly disheartening display in a live performance video of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah.

Long-Term Prognosis
What can be done? The bass guitar needs to hire a good PR firm, so that rock and pop musicians begin to see the instrument as an entity far different from the electric guitar. The bass guitar's function and the technique it requires are nothing like that of the its much "cooler" cousin. Unless crappy guitarists stop picking up the bass and playing it like a guitar, we're going to continue seeing crappy guitarists, playing the bass with picks, badly.

In conclusion the person who wrote this article clearly knows nothing and is content in his world of ignorant bliss filled with lack of knowledge and closed minded attitudes.