10 Ways to Fail as a Musician

Topic(s): Humor, career

10. Build a crappy MySpace page using the default template and upload a recording you made in your basement. Add like 4 friends a day. Then lose your password.

9. Go to open mics occasionally but don't talk to anyone. Play your songs as if it pains you. Leave as quickly as you can. Repeat.

8. Don't tell your friends when you're playing gigs because you're afraid that they don't want to come and so you'd rather avoid the akwardness of them pretending to be busy.

7. Don't play music with other musicians because you don't know any and will never meet any.

6. Spend all your free time surfing the internet, attempting to deduce human methods of success by tracking pop culture phenomena on YouTube.

5. Ignore all music written in the past 5 years.

4. Nurture your resentments against the imaginary movers and shakers that you have never met.

3. Actively avoid all human-to-human networking opportunities.

2. Stop practicing your instrument.

1. Turn 30 and get a real fucking job.